Growing up, I spent a lot of time on my own and have always been considered an 'old soul'. Throughout school and uni, I struggled to connect with people my own age. It's meant throughout my life I have become a bit of a loner, finding happiness through academic achievement and now, my businesses.
I have always been very comfortable flying solo, whether it's to the supermarket or halfway around the world. I attest its the main reason I am so confident and determined to get shit done. In my late teens / early twenties I began to forge somewhat unconventional friendships, mostly with those older than me, and mostly, with men. Don't get me wrong I can do small talk, but I much prefer connecting at a deeper level. Even in my female friendships - there's no consistency with age or agenda. My best friend in the world is 54 and my second best friend is 23.
My friendships in more recent years have been life changing, on the edge of reaching 30, I understand experiences and minds of people in their 50s and 60s. As I write this, I'm sitting in Auckland airport on my way home from Mexico with my sister—she has a small medical procedure there. While she was in the hospital, I spent most of my time with Ernie, a man in his late 70s who I met in the hospital coffee shop and he quickly became my favorite companion. It wasn't hard to tell Ernie was uber successful in business, so here I came with my 9 million questions. Despite the generational gap, we formed a deep, platonic connection, full of lively conversations and many glasses of vino.
My sister didn’t understand the bond we formed (at all), a mix of concern and WTF... Why are you in Mexico hanging out with a very old man. For me, age, gender etc did even raise a flag - old, young, whatever, he asked me what I was doing on my laptop in a coffee shop (bless - I think it was a new concept) and the conversation flowed from there. It was kind of just like 2 lonely, curious old souls connecting I suppose? Actually there was 3 of us - his Captain Larry seemed to be the one keeping the show on the road.
At 23 years old, on August 12, I met Sachin - a 48 year-old, never married, successful Indian Dr. We met on an app, he was meant to send me his clinic to meet and go for a drink, but sent me his home address by accident. I arrived ,at which is our house now, and well... I never really left (for the drink or ever).
Our connection was instantaneous. The way I see it, our age gap is irrelevant and I believe in my bones that our 25 year old age gap has brought us both more good than bad. An age gap means you meet in the middle. I keep a middle-aged man young and feeling appreciated, and he keeps me mature-minded, to cut the bull shit and look at the everything in the big picture.
Lol BUT with this - comes judgement, especially in the early days. I was a very young, feminine, blonde, flirty white Kiwi girl and he was a middle aged Indian man... Whilst well dressed and groomed, yet never married, no kids and loves a curry as much as the next Indian.... my point is steereotypes are still very real.
You get it over, sure people still look and think WTF is going on here, but we don't notice it now (or care).
As a woman, I know who I am and Sachin is also very is his own lane, too busy to be worrying about what Sharon at the supermarket thinks of his relationship with his younger white girlfriend. I spose at least with the colour difference - he's never been mistaken for my Dad ✅. My favourite is when patients from work see us out together - you know they're thinking, why is he out for dinner, alone, with his receptionist on a Sunday night... 😉
So here we are, seven years later, with the clarity that age gaps, gender, etc. are nothing but details. Whether it’s days with random old men like Ernie or falling for the Indian and having to call your parents to explain you’ve got a new boyfriend… isn't a call you look forward to making. But hey, good news—they’ve got something in common: age.
It goes without saying judgment has no place in my lane. Like a fine wine, some things just get better with age. The strength of our bond, much like a successful business, is built on a foundation that welcomes different perspectives, experiences, skin tones, and yes, of course, ages. When diverse minds meet, they don’t just build a connection—they build a unit that can weather some pretty rough storms. And just like a good glass of vino, whether I’m drinking it in Little India or at the RSA with Ernie, it’s only getting better with time 🥂
Sachin if you ever read this (highly doubtful) - Happy 7 Years. I love you ❤️
Your, Chrissy x
It goes without saying judgment has no place in my lane. Like a fine wine, some things just get better with age. The strength of our bond, much like a successful business, is built on a foundation that welcomes different perspectives, experiences, skin tones, and yes, of course, ages. When diverse minds meet, they don’t just build a connection—they build a unit that can weather some pretty rough storms. And just like a good glass of vino, whether I’m drinking it in Little India or at the RSA with Ernie, it’s only getting better with time 🥂
Sachin if you ever read this (highly doubtful) - Happy 7 Years. I love you ❤️
Your, Chrissy x
